The Beginning

Ok, so to start off I will tell you a little bit about myself. I was born at 26 1/2 weeks gestation ( 6 months). I was 2lbs 1 1/2oz, and 13 inches long. I had to stay in the NICU at Loma Linda Childrens hospital from November until February of the next year. The doctors think that this is part of the reason why I may have PCOS. They think maybe things didn't develop as much as they should have, therefore causing the decrease in hormones. 

Now moving on to the current time period Kenny and I have been married for almost 4 years, and been together for 6 years. We decided when we moved up here to Washington, that we wouldn't prevent a pregnancy, but not really try for one either. Needless to say it never happened. After many doctors visits, and many tests it was shown that I had PCOS, and would need to be on fertility drugs if we wanted to conceive. I took the drugs last year for a few months when Kenny was actually in the same country as me. Nothing happened. Now starting in January 2012, I went back to the reproductive endocrinologist and we were ready to face this head on and give it all got! I started on Clomid ( clomiphene) which is a timed medication. You have to take it on certain days of your cycle, at the same time every day. Let me tell you one thing about Clomid that they forget to mention, IT MAKES YOU CRAZY!! Mood swings like no other, I am crying one minute and ready to rip someones head off the next. It gives you a weird feeling in your head that you cant describe, nausea, breast tenderness, fatigue, etc... I know that it will all be worth it if we end up with a baby. So far this month is going to be the fifth month of being on Clomid, and we will see what that doctor says on Wednesday next week, if I am ovulating or not. 

Yes there are other options, which are very pricey, and are paid out of pocket. We are going to try on our own first and see what happens. Oh, and let me just clarify one thing.The question that always gets asked " well don't you want kids of your own?" or " It will just happen". People fail to realize that for people with infertility things don't "just happen". It takes planning, work, medications, money, a good support system, etc. Back to the question- Of course I want kids of my own, don't you think I would have them by now if I could! The other thing is people don't realize how hard it is to answer those questions day in and day out. I find myself lying when people ask those questions. It tends to hurt too much to say " I cant have kids" or " My body doesn't work right".

I am so thankful everyday for the man I have by my side through all of this. He is always there, even if he doesn't know what to say!

To be continued...